JUST when you think you have failed.

I have really felt like a complete failure when it came to potty training. Seriously! It was causing me ridiculous stress. Mostly, out of expectation I was placing on my self and Renn. Months ago we had him trained on one of those plastic little potties (it was a frog) and he got it - no problem! But, the skill wasn't translating to the real looking potty at school. Our pediatrician urged me to toss the plastic potty and START OVER on our BIG people potty. 
WOW! Was that painful. He cried over the froggie being gone, he cried over the BIG potty, he DIDN'T want to use it, try to use it, he wanted nothing to do with it. I tried everything. Cheerios in the potty, treats if he would just TRY and I sadly one day tried yelling (DOES NOT WORK - DO NOT TRY) It was a serious battle and I felt like I was losing. I internally battled with if we would even work on it over Christmas break because I didn't want the two of us miserable the whole time. So... I resolved to LET IT GO! He would get it, eventually. It would be okay if he was three and not potty trained. The world would NOT end over it. And darned if that didn't do the trick!!!! I truly don't know when or how but he got it. AT HOME! Moving that to school has been another story. First couple of days at school involved accidents. I had to hold my breath and stay strong. "This is normal, don't panic, he will get there!" Then we went into a week of no accidents BUT he also wasn't using the potty. HE WAS HOLDING IT!!! Basically, he would wait till nap when they use a pull up and then do his thing. UG! Stubborn little man. Then last week who knows what came over me but I said "Renn, if you use the potty at school today you will get a candy cane on the ride home." Sure enough bribery worked. The teachers said it took till 4:30 in the afternoon but he was determined to get that candy cane. I am excited to report that as of today he went THREE times at school! I am now greeted at pick him up with "Mommy, I went potty! I WANT my candy cane!" 
What am I going to do when I run out of my Christmas stock pile of candy canes? You can mail any candy canes you have to me! I will pay...BIG money!
In all seriousness this has been one of my greatest feelings of failure as a mom. It was awful. Was I doing something wrong? Were we being inconsistent? Was something wrong with him? Is it because I am not a stay at home mom that could invest the time working with him? It was a ugly season of questioning, worrying, fearing. All over the skill of....using the potty? Seems ridiculous as I type it but I wanted to record it as I KNOW this was simple compared to the challenges that life can and will bring. I know in my heart I will need to be reminded that I need to resolve to LET IT GO! more often.