The Greatest Disappointment

The greatest disappointment in becoming a parent is that I now don't possess some mad Harry Potter skill to stop time. There are multiple moments in a day that I just want everything to freeze so that life can just continue on exactly as is or so that I can run and grab the camera. A few such moments not to be forgotten.

. Getting your first Happy Meal on your 1st Birthday

. "Losing" your stroller on your 1st birthday in Anthem Park

. Watching you have your first bite of cake and ice cream

. Having you reach for and hold my hand

. Our walk and talk from the car to your classroom

. How much you love outside. Please love outside forever.

. Your first time in a baby pool

. Discovering magnets

. Discovering magnets stick to the walls

. Crawling DOWN the stairs for the first time

. Your mad dancing skills

. Your woody woodpecker laugh

. "That?"

. How you enjoy playing with other kids. Thank you preschool.

. Watching you learn to problem solve

. Your love of music

. My excitement when you put banana chunks in your mouth. You would have thought he had just been accepted to Julliard.

. Your smile when we clap for you

. We think your love language is touch or pinching

. Watching you experience dogs for the first time

We enjoy you always little tree frog!

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B A L A N C E

Upon learning I was going to become a mama I was filled with joy but, there were also multiple fears that came to my mind. One of the greatest being could I give "me" up? Despite the fact that I had looked forward to being a mommy since I was young I was truly concerned that I couldn't be the selfless woman I needed to be.

The truth is that I loved my pre-motherhood life. I loved using my day off for journaling, seeing an artsy flick by myself, cleaning out random drawers or just adventuring. I loved spending my birthday in my p.j.'s, eating a pint of Hagan-Daz and watching 5 hours of self-indulgent soap operas. I loved sushi night with the girls, date night with the man and getting to read whenever I wanted. I honestly didn't know how I would feel about my life, as I knew it, drastically changing.

I was surprised how easy it was to make the sacrifice! The day Renn Jackson Bailey entered the world it was an automatic instinct in me that it was ALL ABOUT HIM! Whatever he wanted or needed was my priority. Sleeping, eating and gifts meant nothing to me anymore. I only wanted things to be for and about Renn.

Therefore it was a shock that the week of his 1st birthday I began hearing a voice. A voice that began to whisper to me "What about me?". I tried ignoring it. Then the "What about ME?" voice started getting louder. I actually tried to get angry with it...saying "GO AWAY! You don't belong here anymore!" The voice continued wearing me down...it became steady...like a chat: What about ME?, WHAT about me?, What ABOUT me?" And eventually I found myself agreeing with the voice and wondering myself "WHAT ABOUT ME?" As I let the selfish thoughts of days past brew inside of me one of my favorite words came to mind: BALANCE.

I have been in awe of how much parenthood is a reflection of how God's loves us. So as this "voice" took up residence in my head I had to take a look at how God lived while he was on earth. And while Jesus was 100% selfless I was reminded of how often and valuable "time-outs" were to him. Quiet time, reflection time, party time, friend time and family time were all valued.

I realize now that God has no intertest in me loosing myself and identity in motherhood. Besides balance being good for my well being I believe the example of this will be a good witness to my son. Therefore as I enter year two of my life as mama to the Tree Frog I look forward to creating more balance.

I have started by promising myself a manicure once a month. I have to start somewhere, right?

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TOADily awesome 1st Birthday Party Log

From a few days after your birth you were given the name "tree frog" so it was only fitting that your 1st birthday party have a frog theme.

Your Invitation: TOADily awesome birthday party! Bright paper, home computer, glue sticks and some googly eyes.



Inside Decor: We filled the living room with frog beach balls from Oriental Trading. Covered the dining room table with green polkadot paper, markers, crayons and some homemade frog coloring sheets




Food and Plating: We did green apples, green grapes & chick-fil-a nuggets. Tried to find green ketchup, but no luck.




The Cake: Cupcakes with frog toppers made by: Clineffs Confections and a cake for you. Bib was a towel found for $2.00 that I turned into a bib.





Outside: Ball pit, bubbles, Fly Bop (Bubbles on clearance for .17 cents and bright green dusters found at the dollar store), frog water squirters (Oriental Trading) and a frog toss (frog bean bags and beach buckets), there was also a bouncy in the driveway for older kids.






Party Favors: Frog puppets I made from felt I just happen to have and for the older kids candy bags. Tags were made on my home computer and printer. Frog basket made by: ladesigns2

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Dear Stories of a Tree Frog Blog:

I apologize for my absence, I have truly missed you and I think of you often. But, I have simply been too busy experiencing Renn to make time to write about him (oh yea, and I may have gotten distracted by joining Facebook and learning imovie). Since Renn began crawling I feel like this whole new world opened up - he became such a BIG boy. There are too many things I simply don't want to forget about this time:

Rolling Daddy across the floor

Pushing me from behind like I am a walker

Laying his head on our shoulder when we hug

Putting his hands over his mouth when I offer him meat

Spitting out the milk that comes in a sippy cup

Trying to decide if he likes grass or not

Crawling down the step from the house to the garage

His first steps (we are up to 8 in a row as of today)

Learning to feed himself Cherrios

His baby dedication, special! and the diaper incident that came with it.

How he loves to say Da or Da Da

His laugh

His smile

His crocodile tears

The way his clicks his tongue after we blow him kisses

How much he loves balls and music

The way he builds towers with socks and wipe boxes (why do we even bother with toys?)

The way he shakes his little body when music comes on

The way he heads straight to the fridge when it opens. (Does this mean he will eat me out of house and home one day?)

What an incredible sharer he is. (He did not get this from his mama!)

The amount of inspiration he causes me

The continual realization of HOW MUCH I love this child and would do anything for him.

Looking forward to your 1st birthday Tree Frog!

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Renn on the Move!

This was shot last night with my tiny Olympus - thus the poor quality - but I wanted all the grandparents to see him crawling. It began January 11th and he hasn't stopped! Toys interest him no longer. He only desires to get to a destination in which he can stand. Fun stuff! Getting plug covers today.

P.S. - I have no idea how to really edit the music and all that stuff on the video program. I will teach myself one day.

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Christmas with the littlest Bailey

What a joy the last two weeks have been. Eric and I have been off together. I can't tell you how nice it was/is to make things happen as a team.

Christmas Eve was wonderful. We had an amazing service at church. I felt a bit guilty sitting with Eric and Renn during the second service since it was over capacity...but it is a memory I will cherish. Despite Renn only having a 25 minute nap that day he did amazing. We headed to Grandma and Grandpa Graca's after for THE BEST lasagna in the ENTIRE world. We opened a hand full of gifts and headed home for some zzzzzz's.

Renn woke up around 7ish on Christmas Day. I had wrapped all his presents in one big box. So we let him just sit with the box for awhile and play with the paper. Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer and took to tearing at it so that we could get to the good stuff. I think I expected more excitement from him than I got. I now realize the poor child was on overload. We eventually put a few things away and only take out one or two at a time. I now get to see the smiles and glee as the toys come out and he gets to play. We hosted breakfast (my all time favorite meal) around mid morning. Renn got more toys from family! The kid scored! We just hung out the rest of the day - playing - eating - napping. It was just great!

Christmas and our anniversary go hand in hand.... So the evening of the 29th the Graca Gang came over while Eric and I had a lovely dinner at Lon's. This was where we had our luncheon following the wedding. Most of the time it is hard for me to believe we are only celebrating our second anniversary. In a good way it feels like we have been together for a lifetime. It was a nice evening filled with great memories!



We headed to Flagstaff on New Year's Eve and let Renn touch the snow. He wasn't overly impressed. And let's be honest - it was really just an opportunity for a photo shoot so that we could show him when he is older that he "played" in the snow.

The rest of the days were filled with catching up on movies, hanging/eating with friends and simpling tackling a few "to-do's" around the house.

We don't know if it is simply because we have been with him 24/7 the last two weeks, but he seems to have changed tremendously in front of our eyes. He can now take himself from his tummy to a full seated position. He is constantly rocking on his knees...learning how to make those crawling motions. You can leave him in one spot and come back to find him half way across the room. Here come the plug covers! It is truly amazing. I wonder if we still change that much everyday and just don't realize it?

As we read the Christmas story to him on Christmas morning - it hit me in a all new way. I guess realizing the amount of work Mary and Joseph had in front of them. Even with the mega amount of support I have, lets face it, raising a baby has a few challenges along the way - I can't even imagine how it challenged Mary. All the things Jesus was going to go through and learn prior to starting his public ministry. Just thinking about how much he spent those first years needing to depend on others to care for him is kinda odd. I mean it's Jesus! It just made me all the more thankful knowing how much He truly "gets" us and our daily walk on earth. What an awesome miracle.

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The real answer...

When I was single people would ask "Do you want kids?". I always thought it was their polite way of asking if I wanted to be married AND reminding me that I wasn't getting any younger. After I got married the question became "When are you going to have kids?" Now, after Renn has arrived the question has become "Are you going to have another baby?" Because I feel that I have to answer the question (and for some reason not truthfully) I have developed many answers.

Answer 1: I was so miserable during pregnancy I just don't think I could go through that again.

Answer 2: I really can't imagine recovering from another c-section. I wouldn't wish that on anyone! Even my childhood nemesis Francesca Shepherd...

Answer 3: I am too old!

Answer 4: Maybe we will adopt one day...

But, the real answer is that I simply don't want to think about another baby because I just want to enjoy the baby I have now! I want to enjoy Renn as he is right now, tomorrow and the next day to the very fullest without wondering what else might be ahead. I hope there is nothing wrong in that? If a sibling comes for Renn I am certain it would be amazing, but the truth is I am perfectly content with our little tree frog...he is a daily reminder of God's unconditional love for you and me.

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